Friday, April 8, 2011

When the Sun will Shine

Author's Note: Today, well this entire week, it has been cloudy and rainy.  I felt like writing a poem about the weather.  I wanted to add some onomatopoeias and be as descriptive as possible.  Please give me feedback.     

Pitter patter
Drip drop
Down your window pane
Cloudy skies, low and dark
No sun can shine
Skies rumble
Lightning cracks
Sending beams of light 
Splish splash
Muddy puddles
Wind brushing against your cheek
Slipping and sliding
Across the sidewalk
Rain sprinkles down
You wait for another day
When the sun will shine


  1. I know how you feel waiting for the sunshine! I liked how in the last line you talked about the sun and waiting for it to shine. I really liked the picture you put with it!! Great Job!

  2. I really liked this poem because it was very descriptive and it wasn't just one of those closed form rhyming poems -- it was in open form which when better with all the onomatopoeia. Great Job!

  3. I like the use of onomatopoeia. I wonder if you would like to explore the use of spacing between lines to control the rate of the reader going through the poem. Consider looking at someone like William Carlos Williams for inspiration.